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My Social anxiety story
Hello year 6 and may I welcome you to SWB academy now I know as much as anyone how scary this might be, so I hope this introduction helps calm some of those nerve, now I’m going to talk about my time in your position and a little later than that especially when I discovered social anxiety and realized how it can negatively impact myself and others around me yet some might not know what it is or if they have it that’s why ‘m here today.
Social anxiety can often be described as feeling trapped or afraid when being around even a small group of people, these feelings can often feel overwhelming and could cause some to seclude themselves away from doing things they once loved like playing out with friends or having days out. This often an overlooked mental health issue which I will be sharing my story on to spread the word, most people just think social anxiety is just worrying or overthinking, but it goes deeper than that, social anxiety can often mean a cancellation of plans which ruins relationships especially in friendships but for now I will share my story on my social anxiety and how I conquered and became one with it.
This all started at the start of year 7 when I was sat right where you are today I remember being afraid, alone and ultimately not wanting to talk out loud this is because of many factors but my main reason was well I’m small and back then I was so insecure that I would dread the end of a lesson just so I didn’t have to stand up. This is when I really started to realize that something was not right and I had to find out quick, so I searched everywhere for an answer until something called social anxiety or social phobia appeared this really opened my eyes to a larger variety of what I was feeling in that moment something that had affected my personal life and my school life way to much so I read deeper into it and discovered the really in depth Analyse of it but I knew something had to change.
Now we jump to the start of year 7 which you will all experience next September wish I could go back now haha but back to the story during my first day I made no friends stayed away from everyone and barely spoke in lesson this carried on for 2 weeks I made no friends for 2 weeks but I did make “friends” in a way as I started to spend my time with the PE department doing jobs and pretending to be part of them although I knew myself I had to move on as friends my age would be the best for me.
This was about the time I would discover Juice Wrld a rapper who based his music on helping me deal with all the emotions I would feel and really help me express myself introverted or not, this rapper really opened my eyes to a whole new world of music I would soon discover.
Obviously around this time I soon discovered others like XXXtentatcion and prinz now prinz is very underground but is gaining followers fast and I am glad that I am an exceedingly early day follower of his with great music that really aims to reach troubled people and finding a way through the challenging times, now I eventually did make some friends which was great but there was still that sense of guilt and worry that I was going to mess everything up which weighed. heavy on me at the time this often made me distant but soon enough throughout my time I managed to overcome and really accept myself for who I was which can sometimes be the most difficult part of all, now social anxiety doesn’t just leave it never goes away it grows to become a part of you and once you can truly understand social anxiety and accept it for what it is then you will really be able to push past all the negative energy and really show your true colors.
That does not mean forcing yourself into talking in class because sometimes that can be a scary thing especially when you do not want to look “dumb” in front of your classmates in year 7 but believe me the more you get things wrong the better being right feels, now for this last bit I would like to share a poem I wrote specifically for this.
In a crowded room, I stand alone
Surrounded by laughter, but feeling unknown
My heart Beats fast, my palms are sweaty
As I try to blend in, yet feel so unsteady
Eyes darting around, searching for a friendly face
But all I see are strangers, in this unfamiliar place
My mind races with thoughts of rejection
As i struggle with this crippling infection
Social anxiety, a constant companion
Making every interaction feel like a canyon
I long to connect, to be a part of the group
But fear holds me back, in a never-ending loop
I plaster on a smile, pretending to be at ease
But inside, I am drowning in unease
What if they judge me, what if they laugh?
These thoughts consume me, like a poisonous shaft
I know it is all in my head, that I am not alone
But the fear grips me, like a heart of stone
I try to push past it, to break free
But the weight of anxiety is too heavy for me
So I retreat into myself, a solitary shell
Hoping one day, I’ll break free from this spell
But for now, I’ll continue to struggle and fight
Against the invisible enemy that haunts me at night
Social anxiety, a silent thief
Stealing my confidence, my belief
But I’ll keep pushing forward, one step at a time
Hoping one day, I’ll break free and shine
Now with that in mind I want to look left and look right, you are all new here and u will find that the same people you are sitting next to are fearing this day together so now for your task I want to stand up and order yourselves from your birth month starting to the right with January and ending to the left with December